he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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