yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
