The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
