So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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