I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
