I'm pants shitting drunk right now
no, he came in my armpit
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
