Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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