My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
