if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
