she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
