have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
