So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize