i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize