so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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