the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
