ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
