did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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