ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
