On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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