True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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