just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
