i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
