just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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