Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
