Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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