we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize