first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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