i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
