I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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