I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
