Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
