he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
