no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
