I feel great
I just peed on a car
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
