"it" just moved
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Drunk is not a location!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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