If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
