Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
