Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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