My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
