My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
