get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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