yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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