after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
