No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize