She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
