New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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