He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
