i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
