life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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