p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
