hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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