Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
