At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
