Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
