What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
