Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
