I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Randomize
